I have this bizarre idea that my constitution is made up of two parts:
1. My mind (Hereafter referred to as 'M.M')
2. The Rest of me which comprises with my heart, my body, my soul and my spirit. ( Hereafter referred to as 'T.R.O.M')
I understood that in my carnality, my mind basically rules my entire being. On one hand, It stands as my greatest strength, generating series of golden ideas which has resulted in remarkable profits.*winks*
On the other hand, it sometimes stands as my greatest weakness, launching series of distracting thoughts back2back.*sigh*
And this is very detrimental to my struggle for spirituality. Here is an illustration of my personal Bible study experience:
T.R.O.M: "Psalm 121:1... I will lift up my eyes to the Hills..."
M.M: "Wait...so John Snow is a Targaryen... Who would have thought? (Yes, I watch GOT. Matthew 7:1. No judgement)
T.R.O.M: "... My help comes from the Lord..."
M.M: "... And that Arya girl sha... Such a skilled assassin. Those directors are so awesome. Best series ever...."
T.R.O.M: "....Who made Heaven and Earth..."
M.M: "...now that the season is over. What series will occupy our free time now... Mehn this night will be boring..."
T.R.O.M: "hmmmmmmm"
M.M: " Devious maids is cool sha and the fourth season is on now. We should watch it.."
*Drops Bible and picks up tab*
This has happened time and time again. I could only sustain interest in the Bible stories and this also doesn't last. (Why are those unprofitable, full of nonsense stories on blogs more interesting than the life-changing stories in the Bible?)
So I went in search of a solution and came across a story in Matthew 4.
Is it crazy that whenever we come across the story, we have a mental picture of the Devil in flesh tempting Jesus. It could be that this devil was in Jesus' mind. It could have been series of tempting thoughts His mind was running by Him. But He overcame because He fasted and the ready Word of God.
So I decided to put this to test. I have fasted in the past. Usually when the Church calls for a fast, I join because I wanted God to count me among the Fasters. I did not know the real reason why people fasted. I thought it was mainly to attract God's pity.
"Dear God, see as I have abstained from food all morning. Now it is 12pm. I am parched and hungry. If I don't eat now, I may die. Look at my skin, it is already wrinkling. Please pity me and accept my sacrificial fast."
But after reading Jesus' story, I realised that the sole reason for Fasting and prayers is actually subjecting the body(Mind)under the control of the spirit. This is because the mind is only active when the body is full while the spirit is active when the body is empty.
And in order to connect with God, your spirit has to be active. John 4:24.
So I decided to fast and pray (in the real sense)
8am
M.M: This is the time we usually have our breakfast but because we are fasting today. No need to think about breakfast.... But that shredded chicken in bread you'd like to toast would have been a brilliant idea for breakfast...accompanied with very hot tea... But we are fasting today... So no need....maybe tomorrow... Or we can still do it today oo...."
T.R.O.M: "hmmmm.. Yum yum breakfast... But we are fasting. Please let's concentrate.
Psalm 103:1: Bless the Lord, oh my soul. And all that is within me, bless His Holy Name..."
11am
M.M: "What time are we breaking this fast? Eba with chicken and fish vegie would be nice. We could even throw in some periwinkles and stock fish and step it down with a cold bottle of Coke"
T.R.O.M: "Hmmm...Bless the Lord oh my soul and forget not his benefits..."
3pm
M.M: "Too...weak...to...think....when...are...we...breaking...even...pastors...don't...get..to...3pm....ulcer...is....real...."
My Spirit: "Philippians 4:13"
T.R.O.M: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Bless the Lord, oh my soul. Who forgives all our sins and heals all our diseases."
4pm
M.M: *silence*
M.S: "Isaiah 61:1"
T.R.O.M: "The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me..."
By the time I got to 6pm, I was so out of physical strength, I felt like my body would give way any moment. But this experience brought me closer to a truth which is that the presence of God is tangible. I could literally feel it, first a feeling of conviction when I realise that I was not worthy to stand before the Most High because of my multiple sins yet I am aware that He has made a provision for Grace through the Blood of Jesus.
Then a feeling of awesome love which overwhelmed me and led me into a mode of worship.
And I started talking to God. Not in my usual automated mode but this time it was different, holding meaning with a deep sense of having a relationship with Him.
I broke my fast in the evening and my mind revived after a couple of hours...
M.M: "What a day! Now, where were we? What will we watch tonight? What will we wear tomorrow?Wait... Is it only once we will eat today?
T.R.O.M: *sigh*
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