DIARY OF A CHRISTIAN GIRL PT 3

"Oral s*x is not a sin as long as both parties have mutual consent to engage in it..."

The voice of the pastor's wife stirred me out of the cloud of boredom that had engulfed me through series of previous lectures. This was the 8th lecture I have had in this Bible Institute and I could barely remember anything I have been taught so far.

But this new topic got my adrenaline pumping. (Forgive me, Lord. The spirit is willing but the flesh is very weak)I looked around to be sure that my overactive imagination was not playing tricks on me. However i saw that everybody was paying attention and smiling. (Interesting!)
I checked the course brochure and saw that I was in a class titled 'CHRISTIAN FAMILY LIFE' ( so this involved sex education?Wow! )Such a thing was not on my list of possible Happenings but I was determined to enjoy every moment of this class so I gave the speaker my full attention.

"However premarital sex is a sin. The marriage bed should not be defiled. Don't engage in any form of sex until you are wedded before God" (okay oooo)We spent over an hour listening. Nobody went out to 'ease' him/herself (a.k.a escape boring lectures) Even the papas and mamas paid attention to sex talk within the permissive Christian context.

Question time came and every hand went up (LOL. Choi!)
Then somebody suggested that we put down our questions in little sheets of paper. (Why? You don't want us to know that you may be a perv? Lol. I'm sure nobody would judge you...)

Anonymous Q:"Is Anal s*x permitted within marriage?

Pastor's Wife: "For health reasons, I would advise you not to indulge in anal sex because it adversely affects a woman during child birth" ( plus it's very gross. Yuckity Yuck)

Anonymous Q: " Can we kiss and smooch during courtship?( Am sure every single person is wondering)

P.W: "What you dont want to eat yet, it is best not to use it to rub your mouth" (so that's a No? Okay oooo)

Anonymous Q: "My husband is insatiable. He pounds me (pound? Am guessing the sex is terrible. LOL)...sometimes for close to 3hours. What would you advise in this case? ( Ahhhh. Disaster yawns at your feet. RUN four-fourty ooo)

P.W: "Please see me after this class" ( Why now? You don't want to give us the advice too. Tsk tsk)

Others indicated their displeasure with loud groans. Pastor's Wife form deaf. (Lol)Moving on...

Anonymous Q: "Is it good to use enhancing drugs? ( Choi! There are freaks in the church sha...LOL)

P.W: "After proper consultation with your spouse and your physician. If you actually need it but I don't personally believe in it" ( This woman is such a diplomat!)

The freaky questions rolled in non-stop till the time keeper indicated it was time for another course. (Choi!)

And I floated again into my imaginary cloud of rainbow and sunshine.