I just realised that I find it hard to tell lies these days. The art of Lying ( yes, it is an art) has become a norm in the world. People even expect you to lie and when they hear the truth they wonder if something is wrong with you.
For instance, in a case of a caller who you don't want to talk to...
*phone rings*
*checks number*------->*hiss*----->*drops phone*
Moments later...
*phone rings*----->
*checks number*---->*frowns because you don't know the number*-------->*hits the answer button because it could be important*
And the conversation goes like this:
Me: "Hello"
Caller: Hello, this is ... I am calling you with a friend's line. Why didn't you pick up when I called you earlier? (RME)
Two choices; lie or tell the truth
THE LIE:
Me: "oh sorry. I was not with my phone when you called....( and because you know what he/she would say next, you just quickly add)....I just wanted to call you back just now. How are you doing today?
Even with the suspicion that you are lying from both sides of your mouth.. You'd get:
Caller: "Oh ok. I am fine. Thanks for asking. How are you today? Have you eaten? What did you eat? (OMG!!!!! Rme)
That statement contained 2 and a half lies.
First, you screened his/her call on purpose because you did not want to talk to him/her.
Second, you never intended to call back.
Third, you don't really care how he/she is..
THE TRUTH:
Me: Hello
Caller: Hello, this is ... I am calling you with a friend's line. Why didn't you pick up when I called you earlier?
Me: (*clears throat* because it is a norm to clear one's throat whenever you want to speak the truth...LOL...like you want the truth to have safe passage) ermmm...*calls name* I screened your call earlier because I was not in the mood to talk to you. In fact, I don't even like talking with you. I am not even sure i even like you. I am always uncomfortable talking to you because we really do not have anything meaningful to say to one another. It's so exhausting...."
Then you get a sworn enemy for life.
So we just go through life carrying a big sack filled to the brim with ready lies to distribute when needed.
Check list:
1. Phone (*check*)
2. Glasses (*check*)
3. Car keys (*check*)
4. Face towel (*check*)
5. Stash of lies (*check*)
Another common situation much more serious than annoying phone calls is when you have got a friend that asks you questions that have obvious answers:
Friend: "EM, do you think i am getting fat" (Setup of life)
My Mind: ( duhhhhh... You look like a whale)
My Mouth: "No..... Your clothes are only shrinking" (Not today, Satan)
When it became very difficult to tell a lie because my heart is getting very bold these days, vehemently challenging the authority of my mind, I decided to employ a scope to save myself.
Friend: " Do you think my Tummy is protruding?
My Mind: "wait... you are not pregnant? Wow!)
My Mouth: "Is it?
Friend: "Do you think he is deceiving me?
My Mind: "Is the Sky blue?
My Mouth: "My dear, I don't know"
I tried avoiding my friends in order to avoid awkward and uncomfortable situations. But even that did not work because they kept up blowing up my phones with questions about my recent change in attitude. Then I stumbled on Proverbs 4:7
Wisdom is a principal thing therefore get wisdom...
How does one get wisdom?
I browsed through the Subject Guide on the last pages of the Bible and I found the answer:
James 1:5
If anyone of you needs wisdom, he should ask God who gives to all Men liberally and without reproach and it shall be given."
Even The Almighty God used wisdom in creating the world (Proverbs 3:19) He must know the importance of wisdom in the world made through His Wisdom. So I asked for wisdom.
Now whenever a situation is threatening my honesty....
Friend: *stupid question*
My Mind: *sarcastically supplies the obvious answer*
My Mouth: "Let us pray about it. Luke 1:37. There is nothing impossible with God"
I didn't realise at first but then it hit me when I was reviewing my new approach that praying about something is actually an application of wisdom.
So if the stupid questions persist, I just might end up raising up a band of prayer warriors....
You: "Huh? How would you do that? I don't understand"
Me: "Let us pray!!! (Looool)
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