TRAITS THAT MAKES A GREAT RELATIONSHIP
Being in a good relationship is very fulfilling. This was
the sole reason God himself created the woman because he knew that the only
thing He created that was not good was the fact that Man was alone. Basically,
relationships are good. However, there are some traits that make relationships
not just good but great and this is the whole purpose for this article. I have
come up with ten essential ingredients that make up great relationships.
1
Love: I had this deluding belief that love is
supposed to be effortless and magical. This resulted in several failed
relationships until i read books that led me to the liberating discovery that
love actually requires effort. Love is not uploading pictures and video on
instagram or other social media but it is a commitment and devotion to treat
someone right. Love is sacrifice. For instance, letting him have the last piece
of oreo or giving her your jacket during a cold winter night.
RESPECT: Respect is something everyone deserves. Aside
from the general sense of the word, it is important to find out what the term
“RESPECT” means to your partner and then implement this in your relationship.
From experience, I have come to understand that the idea of respect is
subjective. For instance, I was in a relationship with a guy from the western
part of the world who felt it was insulting to serve him food. For reasons he
never disclosed, he preferred to serve himself. While to another guy from my
country, it was insulting to ask him to serve himself because traditionally it
is the woman’s duty to serve a man. Remember that you have to give respect to
get it. Some may even argue that respect is even more crucial than love in a
relationship because the presence of respect creates an atmosphere of trust,
value and support.
3
TRUST: Trust is not only an important trait, it
also serves as an anchor to which love is hooked on. Trust provides a sense of freedom and security
to experience the full potential of intimacy.
4
COMMUNICATION: In every relationship, there is
bound to be misunderstanding. Words and sometimes even silence by one party
could be misinterpreted or misunderstood by the other party hence the need for effective
communication which forms the basis of every interpersonal relationship. Relationship experts always emphasize that
communication is an integral factor for a great relationship. Lack of effective
communication forms the bedrock of most relationship problems. It is therefore important
to use your words to express your feelings at every given time.
5
PATIENCE: You should understand the fact that
every mature relationship requires a lot of patience. Nobody is perfect as each
person has his/her own set of flaws but that is what makes them special and
different from everyone else. Rather than creating a big fuss about every
single annoying detail, it is better to give the person some time and make
him/her understand his/her follies. There are a million little things which
could result in differences for you and your partner. For instance, where there
is an age gap of more than 10 years, then both the partners might find it
difficult to understand each other. The importance lies not in being perfectly
compatible but being able to understand the needs of each other.
6.
FORGIVENESS: It is important to be tender
hearted, soft, merciful and accommodating towards your partner. The number one
rule of forgiveness is to never go to bed with a grudge. Speak out your
grievances and then move past it. . It understandably takes a lot out of you to
forgive every single mistake and annoying attribute but every good thing in
life comes with a price. However the act of forgiveness is easier when love is
present.
7
SERVICE: Commit to serving each other on a daily
basis. If you want a great relationship then you must ensure that personal
agendas and individual viewpoints take a backseat. Do not overlook the little
things. Chores should be shared between you two. Payment of bills ought not to
be one sided. Do what you can to make life easier for your partner.
8
COMPANIONSHIP: One of the most important traits
in a relationship is companionship. You must be friends with your partner and
you must like each other. Treat each other as you would a best friend, be kind,
compassionate, understanding and willing to be flexible instead of right.
9.
FUN: There is a level that a relationship gets
to that everything becomes automated. The “Wake-up, eat, make love, sleep”
routine creeps up on you like a thief in the night, stealing the fun, killing
your joy and eventually destroying your relationship. If you ever find yourself slipping into a
routine, quickly shake things up with some fun activities. They don’t have to
be overly extravagant. Have date nights, play some board games, watch some
movies together, go out of your comfort zone and spice up that relationship
with non-routine activities. Even Celebrity couples like Beyonce and Jayz, Kim
and Kanye are often spotted doing fun activities every now and then.
1
LOYALTY: Being loyal has been defined as “Being
faithful to one's oath, engagements or obligations”. You want to be faithful to
him or her in every way possible. Loyalty includes being honest about your
thoughts and feelings and staying committed to your partner. The kind of
loyalty Arsenal fans have for their club is the kind you should give to your
partner.
No relationship is perfect all the time. But in a healthy
relationship, both people feel good about the relationship most of the time. A
great relationship takes more than attraction; it takes more than being
featured on bellanaija, rather it takes hard
work and you have to be willing to put
in the effort. The good news is that these traits don’t need to come naturally,
they can be learned. But in the long run, it is totally worth because the most
beautiful thing is to see a person you love happy. And even more beautiful is knowing
that you are the reason behind it.
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